


Acumen

by KyryeDuBarie



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Books, Character Study, Current timeline, Diary, Eto is fucked up, F/M, Flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 14:32:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6011332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyryeDuBarie/pseuds/KyryeDuBarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Along with power, one forcibly has to gather information. There is no one individual that can afford to remain ignorant while facing a world that’s their enemy”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acumen

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is set during the three latest episodes –and during the time that Ukina was with Kuzen- when Eto mentioned her mother’s notes, it just sparked a muse for this and I couldn’t help myself, with all of the characterization that he has gotten lately I’m ready to say that she’s one of my favorite characters.  
> It was a bit strange to write, and I recommend Depeche Mode’s Delta Machine album for listening while you read it.  
> I also really should be studying pathology right now.

_26/10/85- Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_I have made contact today, he does not seem to suspect anything, though from here on I will proceed with as much caution as I can, this is the closest we’ve ever gotten._

_I’m kind of sad, though, because I can’t see anyone while I do this, not friends or family, I’d only be pushing them under the guillotine along with me. Hopefully, I will be able to get the information shortly._

_And then, as soon as it is turned in I will probably have to disappear._

.

.

“Along with power, one forcibly has to gather information” I said to myself, tapping the pen on my lower lip as the words on the paper danced, squirmed. “There is no one individual that can afford to remain ignorant while facing a world that’s their enemy” Maybe it was time I went to sleep.

Still, I pressed on, I had a rather pressing deadline to meet.

.

.

_15/11/85- Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_He is a guarded man, he speaks little, I’m afraid it’ll take more than I anticipated for him to trust me enough._

_Regardless, I have found him staring at me more often from his usual chair._

_For what it’s worth, I guess it could be called progress._

_30/11/85- Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_We’ve been out on a date, his manner of speech is surprisingly pleasant, he said that perhaps he would invite me to his house next time. After he left, I followed him from a distance, he did indeed meet with one of the_ coats _I managed to overhear some of the exchange, which I annex._

.

.

On the surface of my skin, I could feel the change that was incoming. Sometimes, I thought that perhaps I had been born with a natural tendency to being able to tell when things like that would be happening, and maybe it was for that very reason that I had so much as managed to make it to the age that I had –because despite all of the efforts of my protectors I had committed my share of careless actions in the past-.

_‘A little becomes a lot, the pawn becomes the king’_ I thought, walking along the halls of the base at Rue island ‘ _The choices that were made at just the right time.’_

It was silly of me, I could admit, what would be my last book was about to hit the shelves, with the plan that would put the future of the world into motion I would also kill my little hobby dead –at least for some time, still, getting a fake identity might well be too much work- and so, my habit of making up passages that would eventually find a place where they fit within my stories while I went about my everyday life was a bit pointless.

Still, I guess there was no damage to it.

Unease could also be detected in the air, as suffocating as the humid air that permeated the island, leaving a faintly tropical smell to cling to every surface, to hide the smell of rot.

Every night faced with an utter lack of anything to do, the members that had not been very keen on moving to an island where there were almost no modern world commodities would reunite in the largest room of the building would reunite, to speak or spar, anything to get the frustration out.

Some of them were merely restless from lack of fighting, some were worried, some inpatient.

If we’d had more time to sit waiting, I’d have worried that they would try to do something on their own –Ayato, especially, since as far as we knew Hinami’s date for disposal was all but decided on-.

Regardless, we didn’t.

My feet took me outside of the complex and through a good stretch of jungle, every animal that I sensed cleared away from me as soon as I was within a three-feet distance –they _were_ smarter than humans in that sense- the snakes slithered, the birds flew and the mammals ran.

I found myself standing on a cliff, as close to the edge as I could get without the stone getting thin enough to crumble under my weight and leave me to fall into the void, into the ink black water beneath me.

A fall from that height would not have killed me –few things short of a Quinque or a nuclear assault could, or so I reckoned, at least- being at the mercy of the currents might have even been nice, but time was not something I had much of then, not, at least, to be used for dallying around in the water.

The mainland shone in the dusk, lights coming on progressively then all at once when the public lighting went on, and in the ink-like water, even inkier silhouettes became apparent –to my eyes at least- only one was supposed to appear, yet it was not unexpected, the island was a conspicuous hiding spot.

It seemed as if the CCG spies were taking a bit of a roundabout trip, though.

That was fine.

The other boat came straight towards the shore that laid still and flat, a couple hundred meters beneath my cliff.

Whatever news it brought, they would decide the course of events.

My hands and feet took me down the cliffside, climbing like some wild creature while the little cuts that appeared on my bare feet and fingers healed up before they were so much as able to bleed, and the wind tangled my long hair and the bandages covering my limbs with the rocky, irregular changes at my side.

-It was inconvenient, maybe time had come to cut it-

The man stepped off the boat while I stared at the shoreline again, this time with my feet buried in the soft, cold sand, I almost wondered what the scene might look like to the uninformed onlooker, a hooded lover coming home to his beloved perhaps, or an adulterous man and his mistress initiating a rendezvous on the beach of an uninhabited island.

I shook my head and walked towards him, as he recognized me, the man fell to his knees.

“He has been captured, Eto-san”

“I see” a presence appeared behind me, he had always been better at sneaking up on me than most “We’re starting things tonight, Tatara”

“You are ready?” He asked, there wasn’t much doubt in his voice.

“Everything is in place” I turned around, away from the underling and faced my longtime companion, he knew of all of my plan, despite the fact that there was some chance that it’d all go without a hitch, I could tell how worried he was from the small crease between his eyebrows and the slightly more apparent lines around his eyes “We have some visitors, they seemed to be heading for the eastern shore”

“I have put Takizawa and Shikorae on guard duty”

Laughing weakly, I said “Ah, Take-chan will take good care of them” night had completely settled in

“Very well” he said “Shall I ask everyone to gather in the hall?”

A smile crept over my face “Please do”

Swift as a sparrow my old friend turned around, and though he walked at a normal pace, as soon as he disappeared into the shadows of the jungle, I could no longer sense him at all.

I myself made my way back to the base, with slow steps and a mind that flew way up high.

And so, I walked towards the start, drinking in the forest and the starry night.

.

.

_20/12/85- Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_It is with both exhilaration and fear that I write this, from what I have been able to gather today,_ he _is far more than what we suspected, I have decided to elongate my mission –though I will send duplicates of all these pages back to the office once I have found out a_ certain _something, for now, it is better to be cautious, even if because of that I am isolated- in favor of gathering more information._

_I think there might be even more humans involved than we suspected._

_He has invited me to his house, we had some wine and then I spent the night, he slept like a log._

_I annex pictures of some things I found there._

_That said, if something does ever happen to me, I will, at least, make sure that this whole package reaches the office first, or, at least, I will try._

_-this means, if it’s the original notebook that you’re reading and not photocopies, boss, I’m most likely no longer alive-_

_._

_._

“…The One Eyed King” I took a dramatic breath, and felt the blood rush towards my eye as the sclera turned black and the iris red “Is Not Me”

There were a few gasps and murmurs from the lines of the underlings, most of the executives seemed unimpressed –well, they all knew, or at least suspected- although the one surprised face that I expected to find was not there, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Take-chan and Shikorae had also disappeared.

Well, it wasn’t like Saeki would care about it, or particularly need to know, and Take-chan and Shikorae would most likely not have understood the importance or the implications of it, they had neither the right information to guess, not the presence of mind to deduce.

Granted, that was mostly my fault, but it wasn’t as if I was complaining.

If anything, for both my plans and my own amusement, the actions that I had taken in their respect had been for the best.

_‘The world is too preoccupied with casualty to care for what one individual deserves, it maintains the chaos, you see, it keeps the non-linear movement’_ I muttered under my breath as I descended from the podium _‘After all, aren’t retribution, goodness and fairness all human constructs to protect the weak from the strong? To strike fear in the latter’s hearts?’_

As my old friend took my place at the podium, I thought of what we were then to do, he gave orders splendidly, who stayed, who went, if there was anything good about the warped root that I had spoken of, it was that tracing their movements, one could find out all sorts of things.

And I had used that information, acquired while following their some of their lowest ranking, weakest members, to concoct a plan that would allow me to get back what was mine, to bring about a revolution and its core ingredients.

V’s legacy was to be their downfall, it was poetic, even.

The children, _their_ children in one way or another.

If all went well, we’d return ten times stronger, ready to drag out the root that grew in the darkness, the one that had warped ambitions of strangling the safety of our members, the Tree.

.

.

_16/01/86 –Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_No significant developments, he didn’t show up for a week, and since he has come back, he seems more closed off than usual._

_I will work on it, boss._

_16/01/86 –Blank notebook_

_I must learn to separate the person I need to be here from who I actually am –also, while these things will help my investigation, it would be silly to allow the chief to read them-._

_That is the aim of this notebook._

_Some things to remember:_

_-His birthday is next month._

_-He said that he wanted to see one of those foreign films._

_-A good gift might be the set of teacups that I saw in that antique store._

_-My afternoon off is on Thursday._

_._

_._

Preparations took longer than I expected, for two days I stared out at the dark sea as people ran around me preparing for the charade that we had so masterfully plotted.

Perhaps I was being hasty, I had been ready to leave as soon as I had given the speech, it wasn’t like I needed anything but the clothes on my back.

Still, everybody was making such a fuss, dragging things out so much…

At least, it gave my editor time to talk, unlike any other ghoul that has ever lived, I wished for a fast investigation, not so much a fast conviction, but that would probably be taken care of by V themselves.

My feet finally, finally met the cool wood of the boat. The beach was deserted but for me and the man who was supposed to row me back into Tokyo.

From what my spies had told me, Shiono had ended up attracting exactly who I hoped that he would.

One could even say that I was anxious to see him, he was the byproduct of a series of decisions, taken at the right time and the right place by people far more powerful than him.

The man I was going back to Tokyo to meet was a byproduct of destiny, bound by enough threads of fate as to be intimately connected to each and every one of the powers that controlled, that made the world in which we lived.

He was a marionette, imbued with strength and sapience from each of its masters, of which, I had the honor of having been the last one.

And time had come to give him the last little push.

_‘Have you crossed the whole board little pawn?’_ Tall, noisy, beautiful and wild, Tokyo came closer with each stroke of the paddle. _‘When you strike down with your arm, I wonder how many things those threads will bring crashing down around us’_

_._

_._

_24/01/86- Diary_

_I have bought the teacups; we will meet later tonight._

_30/01/86- Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_He is indeed the cannibalistic Ghoul whose activity diminished a couple of years ago._

_I have found several accounts that confirm the involvements of both ghouls and humans of high ranking in an organization called ‘V’._

_There’s a family in particular whose name has been popping up all over the place, they also happen to be one of the most influential families within the CCG._

_All of the documents I have obtained are annexed._

_07/02/86 –Diary_

_Today, I ran into him outside of the coffee shop, it was pouring._

_When I brushed my hand against his shoulder he shook me off and walked away._

_The rain washed it off quickly enough but I’m pretty sure that in that moment my hand was completely stained with blood._

_08/02/86 –Diary_

_I just saw him through the window, he’s outside, drenched again, holding a bouquet of white camellias._

_I’m going to go open the door._

_._

_._

I had never dressed in fancy clothes much, when I was young because, of course, I lacked the means, but even after becoming an author and having enough to buy high-end clothes without having to worry much about money, it never really changed.

It was probably what most people would’ve considered force of habit.

Not calling attention to oneself was something that all Ghouls needed, especially the ones passing for humans –if only barely-.

The lady secretary took one look at me and went back to her phone call.

I smiled and set my hand down on the counter, feather-like almost. “I’m here to turn myself in” I said and her eyes widened in a mix of surprise and slight fear “I wish to see Haise Sasaki”

“S-S-Sit down please miss” she started frantically dialing on the phone, cursing and missing the right buttons several times.

Despite how long she took to call, something could be said for Sasaki’s efficiency when he stepped out of the elevator a couple of minutes later.

I pushed myself up from the couch in which I had been sitting. “We meet again, Mr. Sasaki. I wish to turn myself in, but I want my editor freed”

“Miss Takatsuki” he said, not a hint of emotion in his voice, smile that looked more like a caricature adorning his features. “Follow me”

Wordlessly, I did, slipping into the elevator along with him, trying to scrutinize his face for a crack in his personality.

There seemed to be none, that was good.

I was, after all, supposed to drench him in the catalyst for his last for his definitive-

“We are here, Miss Takatsuki.” He took off down a dark hallway with several doors down the sides and opened one that looked just like the others, in the same metallic green material and with the same one-way glass panel for a window.

The figure awaiting us inside of the room turned around “Ta- Miss Takatsuki” gaunt and pale, with dark circles under his eyes and the weight of psychological pressure and fear making him seem ten years older than he was, Shiono turned around to face me. “I thought you wouldn’t come”

Just from looking at him I could tell that Haise had not been kind in trying to extract information from him “…Sorry, I was a nuisance. You sure have gotten skinny, are you ok?” I smiled, it was probably goodbye.

I had said a lot of goodbyes those days, to many of the people who’d first taken care of me in one way or another, I had even given my last goodbye to one I had considered almost a father.

_‘Such is the world’_ I thought as I watched my editor collapse on the floor, sobbing like a child.

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry…” he continued.

Haise came up behind me then “Miss Takatsuki, about fifteen minutes ago he said that he found what seemed to be human flesh stored at your house”

It was obvious from the moment I first saw him.

I knew the look in the eyes of a man that had been broken, if only for a moment with any tactic that was most convenient to their torturer.

Shiono had never been the kind to withstand that kind of thing.

He had been good to me.

“Takatsuki Sen… No, Yoshimura Eto, you’re under arrest on suspicion of being a ghoul” the black haired investigator continued.

The outcome that I had planned for, the one I had hoped for had fallen into place with astonishing ease.

I smirked looking up at Haise. “…It looks like your eyes are getting good young man, but don’t brag as if you’ve won, it’d be good if you got ready to shut your mouth” I said, and then turned towards Shiono “Shiono-kun, lift your head, from the start I knew that you wouldn’t be able to bear an interrogation, I don’t know about a bestseller, but you did your best to turn a person into an author.”

Haise stepped forward, smile still in place “You are free to go, Shiono-san. Miss Takatsuki, if you will follow me”

Very uncharacteristically, he offered me his arm.

Unhesitant, I took it.

.

.

_20/02/86 -Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_There are ‘V’ infiltrates in each and every major Ghoul or human group, I have found a list which I annex at the bottom of this page._

_23/02/86 –Diary_

_Kuzen is an orphan, so am I, he told me today while we sat in the café after hours, he also told me that he likes it better when I make his coffee strong, and that green looks good on me._

_28/02/86-Diary_

_He sleeps on the bed beside me as I write this, I gave him the cups today, they are a beautiful four-piece set, two in blue and two in peach colored porcelain._

_Kuzen looked as if I had given him the world, I know that he has been alone for most of his life, but now I realize that his ‘alone’ means truly, completely isolated._

_6/03/86 -Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_I must lay low for a couple of weeks, there is someone following me._

.

.

My temporary abode was a rather pretty cell at the top of the building, with guards at every door and some of the larger windows.

One of them presented Haise with a loaded syringe the moment that we stepped inside.

I knew what it was, only it did not matter.

Still, I played along and extended my arm towards him, and the depths of his close doff eyes told me that he too, knew well that such a quantity of RC suppressant would do nothing against me.

He pushed in the liquid, and I felt lightheaded as he guided me to yet another room, the guards stayed outside.

Clearly, that man was playing a game of his own, I had known from the moment when my manager had been arrested that if he wanted me in custody, it wasn’t because he wanted me dead, I was, after all, the One Eyed Owl, and he, the first adversary that saw me in my real form.

He was the only one who could have confirmed my identity, and he never had.

To the outside world the ghoul, Takatsuki Sen –or Yoshimura Eto-  and the One Eyed Owl, whom most people believed to be the One Eyed King of Aogiri were different people –and people would probably have had a hard time believing that someone such as me could have been such a feared monster, I had even met ghouls who had doubted me, in the past-.

_‘So do appearances help us in our journey’_ It was another passage I would probably not ever write _‘If people were to not pay them any mind at all, I am sure that many liars would be uncovered and, even more, people would remain undeceived.’_

And, in the CCG, the only one who wasn’t affiliated with V, and knew that they were one and the same, was him.

So he wanted me under his watchful eye but given relative freedom. That idea also explained the accommodations that I had been given, an ordinary ghoul, passing for a human couldn’t have survived a fall from so high up and the guards along with Haise would’ve been enough to restrain them.

But not me, if I had wanted to escape, he would have been the only real obstacle – _if_ he had progressed to the point where I had hoped that my little gift to him would have taken him-.

“You will write your testimonial here” He said and slid a form towards me; it almost seemed as if he were intentionally addressing me only in the second person, without alluding to any of my names, he had been since we had left Shiono at his cell, several dozens of floors beneath us.

“And what shall it say” I said, batting my eyelashes.

Unaffected, he handed me a pen “Whatever crimes you’ve committed, who you are, if you had useful information for us, maybe a deal could be worked out for more time or commodities once you’re transferred into Cochlea”

“I am afraid then, that I will have no special treatment” I answered, using the same tone and the same way of addressing him that he was using with me “Do you think that I should try to list every person I’ve killed or, at least, the number?”

“If you must” he said, gazing out of the window, leaning on his hand that shone red in the daylight “any crime that you’ve committed”

“Even those committed against my own kind?” I said.

“If you must” he repeated. “It is just a formality”

“Very well” I smiled, amused by his aloofness “If it is not too much, I would like to be allowed to settle some things with my editorial house. The book that I just released will most likely be my last, so if I were allowed a phone call…”

His gray eyes looked down at me “I do not see why not; your investigation isn’t fully underway yet”

Haise stood up, phone stuck to his ear, he exchanged a couple of clipped sentences with whoever was on the other side and I didn’t bother to listen as I filled up my personal details on the upper part of the form.

I wondered if it had been made just for me, were there many Ghouls who just up and confessed their status? Was it a requirement? Of the people I knew at Cochlea I couldn’t see even half of them willingly filling this form as if they were applying for a prize.

Maybe the investigators filed them out for them.

In the end, as he spoke, I wrote two simple sentences in the large white space in the middle of the page, in the neatest, most magnificent calligraphy that I knew.

_I, Takatsuki Sen, also known as Yoshimura Eto, am a Ghoul._

_As this entails, in my twenty-seven years of life I have killed and consumed a considerable number of humans._

It was not a lie, I only omitted that I had also consumed plenty of ghouls and of course, that I was who I was and, therefore, had done what everybody knew that I had done.

“Here” he extended the phone towards me with his red hand, as I took it from him, my fingers brushed against the hardened, scaly material –I imagined then that the hide of a dragon would’ve felt just about the same way- and a jolt of pleasant electricity ran from the point where we touched and up my arm.

His eyes hardened.

I smiled again and took the phone “I’m done” I said and answered the phone.

“Editor in chief”

“What is going on, Takatsuki? They said that you are in the CCG”

“Well, you see…”

.

.

_01/04/86 –Diary_

_Today was the third time I hear the noises, I know that he doesn’t think I do, but I’m a light sleeper._

_They scream in agony as he tears them apart, but it only lasts for a second._

_I’m pretty sure that he sits up there, every night, sometimes the gables creak under his weight, usually when they do I drift into sleep, safe._

_The next day I smile and pretend that I don’t know when he comes into the café with bloodshot eyes._

_10/04/86 - Case notebook for chief Sakurai_

_The organization has a vast information network of the likes that has agents everywhere and where information is passed around to all of the members, if one of them is harmed in any way, they would know shortly._

_I am nearing the end of my investigation._

_25/04/86 -Diary_

_It finally happened today, I knew that he couldn’t be there always, and that is exactly what happened, I was walking to the supermarket at dusk when that thing got me._

_I screamed and managed to lose it in a crowded street, but when I got back to my house it pulled me into an alley._

_I think I blacked out, I don’t remember a thing._

_I woke up in my bed._

_Kuzen is here_

_28/04/86 –Diary_

_I gave him a key; I have moved everything related to the investigation to a place under the flooring._

_._

_._

_01/06/86 –Crumpled letter, written on the back of a receipt to chief Sakurai._

_You will receive my letter of resignation by Monday. All of the data has been lost._

_._

_._

“Well you have to watch over me anyways” I said, turning around and walking towards the outfit that laid on the bed.

It was the last gift from my editorial department.

The chief editor had gotten the impression that was furthest from the truth, it was a bit pitiful, not as much as other things that I had seen, but I was going to rectify it the very next day, so I figured that there was no bigger damage done giving the man who had shaken Shiono into actually reading my first manuscript one last night of not knowing that the reason I never accepted to dine with him and his wife was because I would rather be dining on their flesh instead.

Haise had stayed with me in the little apartment-like cell through the night, as protocol demanded, he had even awoken me to give me the RC suppressant –which we both knew, served no other purpose than keeping up appearances and keeping me sleepy- and that morning, when he’d gone to submit some reports to his superiors, I had taken the opportunity to call a hairdresser over, finally getting rid of the hair that had started to look a bit brittle at the ends.

When he came back, I wore the same cut that I had the very first time that I had had one of my books published.

Bookends huh?

It made sense.

Though I did look a great deal younger.

It was ironic in a nice kind of way when I looked in the mirror, being sincere, I didn’t look older than him, and by the graces of my mother, I wasn’t unpleasant to the eye either.

All of the people in all of the streets that I had walked down never guessed me to be what I was, and never would’ve thought me so much as capable of what I was.

But I guessed that everyone was like that, in reality, we never did know each other well, the deepest, darkest wells of people’s hearts were untapped resources most of the time unless forcibly drawn out by means of force and cruelty, by appealing to the most obscure nature of sentient beings.

Fear, pain.

Only when even the last drop of that darkness was drawn out and made to stain everything else in a being with its color, one could really tell – and such thing requires extreme methods for most, like cutting open and sewing shut the vessels of their souls, again and again, like provoking the most utter desperation by physical and psychological means, allowing the personalities stretched to fit into the square-shaped world to warp anew-.

Then, I had found, there were varied contrasts, most of them below the line of what the world had deemed as ‘wrong’ but what one could find could be contradicting and strange and the purest-looking beings could have abysses of madness and violence greater than those who showed their darker sides more openly, although of course, that wasn’t the rule or the exception.

In that room stood the living proof, the tarnished angel, my son by some strange means, and my equal.

With no protectors, we had both been left at the mercy of the inclement world, and it had dyed us in our true colors –and a few of its own-.

“Do you think it will look good with this?” I said “It’s my last public appearance, after all”

“Yes, it looks good” he answered; all seriousness.

_._

_._

_08/05/86 –Diary_

_Lately, Kuzen has been staying over every other day, I make him coffee in the mornings when he says that he isn’t hungry._

_I have little less than a month until my time here ends._

_15/05/86 –Diary_

_Last night I came home to find him inside already, he’d said he’d be gone for a few days, but I guess that whatever he was doing took less time than I expected._

_He looked tired as he stood, pale, looking over the pages of the notebook that I had left in the table, mistakenly thinking that he’d be out for a couple more days._

_He turned around and left._

_16/05/86 –Diary_

_Through all of yesterday, I awaited my death, laying in my bed with no will to move, why does this pain me so?_

_17/05/86 –Diary_

_Today I went to his house, I don’t know why. I have a key so I went in, much like he did with mine last time we met. At first, I thought that he wasn’t home, all of the curtains were drawn and all of the lights off._

_Until he slammed me against the wall by the cupboard._

_The vibration made one of the teacups that I gave him for his birthday fall from the shelf._

_We stared at the shards of porcelain for a second._

_I pushed him out of the way and ran out._

_25/05/86 –Diary_

_I have taken my sweet time putting my issues in order, if he was going to kill me, he would have already._

_I quit the café today._

_My bags are packed._

_._

_._

_The rain is light against my skin, and it’s not cold enough for it to be uncomfortable, I run, clutching my purse in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other._

_I’m not drenched, but I’m here, outside of his house, holding flowers._

_Dusk is quickly overtaking us, the door opens._

_As my arms wrap around his back and my lips find his, I wonder ‘What has become of me?’_

_._

_._

_02/06/86 –Diary_

_We leave the ward tomorrow._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_17/07/86 –Diary_

_I had never set foot in this ward, but it’s not unpleasant, we rented a little apartment, mostly to be inconspicuous, apparently, he doesn’t want for money whatsoever, but I don’t need a bigger place, and I like to pay for my half of things myself, with the job I got, I can’t afford more._

_I’m happy_

_08/11/86 –Diary_

_We’ve been so busy lately, I haven’t had time to write, but it’s a good kind of busy, I even got promoted, and, It’s a bit soon to tell, but I think-_

_I think I might be pregnant._

_23/11/86 –Diary_

_When I told him the news, I expected him to be pleased, but his face fell and when he explained to me what will probably really happen to out baby, he fell on his knees along with me._

_I can’t let my baby die, but-_

_What can I do?_

_12/12/86 –Diary_

_I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry._

_I can’t let my baby die, even If I become a-_

_I can’t_

_I’m sorry-._

_03/05/87 –Diary_

_I don’t write much anymore, I guess, but today he told me that it was perfect that the teacup broke that night because now we have the perfect set for the three of us._

_I cried._

_He’ll be a good father._

_17/07/87 –Diary_

_She as born a few days ago, her hair is like his and she has my eyes._

_Her name is Eto._

_._

_._

“What do you mean-?”

“A Ghoul?

“Takatsuki-sensei, is this a publicity stunt?”

“Are the crimes in your books taken from your own experience?”

“Did your editors know about this?”

As I had expected, I felt the barrage of questions rain down over me, along with the world’s feelings on the matter.

Excitement. Rage. Hatred. Disbelief. Fear. Astonishment.

With a smile still adorning my face and my chin held high, I allowed my kakuhou to activate, just like that, in national television for everyone to see and comprehend my nature.

I had felt Haise stiffen up behind me when I spoke the words, it was a normal reaction.

Kindly, I answered every question as naturally as it was possible until the astonished looking executives besides me snapped from their shock just as a small number of CCG agents burst onto the podium and again, gently asked me to accompany them.

For what could have been the last time, I bowed to the enraged, stunned crowd and surrounded by the black suits of the investigators, followed by the man I planned to make the king of a world reborn anew, I walked down.

.

.

My equal, beloved in the strange way that warped minds love one another.

Before we, again, separated, I left him with but a shard of the truth about our world, both Ghouls and humans, a shard of the truth about himself and the endless, whimsical currents that had shaped both intentionally and no the life of a once normal boy.

Everything was left in his hands then, my future and all that I had ever lived for.

_._

_._

_14/01/88_

_Kuzen has explained it all to me, I guess I understand, we have no other choice. From the moment I knew I was pregnant, I have done everything I could to keep her safe, and now, the last thing I can do is this._

_I better than anyone know that no matter where we run, they’ll be there, that no matter how well we hide, their grudge will follow us. I know that if I asked him to try and escape he would humor me, he’d take us to the end of the earth._

_If it was just the two of us I would._

_But-_

_If this can give her just a small respite, a chance that she may grow up and see the world and find happiness._

_Then there is no way I could deny it to her._

_He will be a good father, even from afar._

_If you ever read this, Eto, I love you both_

_Yoshimura Ukina._

.

.

Truthfully, I knew that my plan, if It ever came to completion, would only overthrow a corrupt organization of people who believed themselves to own the world, to put another in its place. In the end, things like those have existed since the dawn of humanity –and perhaps, ghouls have had a hand in them since the very beginning, the god that I don’t quite believe in knows that to enforce the strength of an organization like that, we are Ideal- and I do not preach fairness or mercy.

But if the world had to be ruled, wasn’t it natural for me, who had seen the worst of it to want for a revolution to occur.

The way things happened probably would not change, the scars in the psyche of the masses were and would be deep enough to cause rifts and violence until the end of days.

So if there wasn’t a better solution, I thought that It was only natural for everyone with enough power to want to rule, to overthrow, and the very nature of the world we lived in allowed for enough cruelty as to dissolve the moral qualms of those with gentle hearts.

Children do grow up after all.

So as I stood beside the lynchpin to my plan, the _legend_ that both me and the world had helped –in my case strived- to create, I thought of the future, and the looming war, and also of where I was and who I was and how much can truly be changed with power and stratagems.

He was beautiful, in his tragedy-filled, tragedy-encased body, he was almost my child and a hope for my goal.

Kaneki Ken.

_‘Maybe, I’m a cynic, maybe I’m psychotic. But this is the world that made me and now, if all goes well, if my resolution has been great enough, I’m going to make the world’_ And I stepped inside what would be my cell for only a short while, in Corniculum.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this was weird, even with all of the info that we have gotten on her, Eto is still such a mystery, personally, I do believe that she strives to make Kaneki the One Eyed King.  
> Trying to get into her mind was a whole lot of fun, although I doubted a lot that I was making the right choices with her inner thoughts.  
> I would love to hear what you think about this.


End file.
